Thursday, May 20, 2010

Alpha Male Syndrome

Talking with a friend a few nights ago about abuse and abusers, I grasped a concept that hadn't occurred to me before. I sat on it, and thought on it, and the next day was again involved in a similar discussion, and was able to apply this same concept to it. Again, last night, different subject, same concept, but it led me to understand it even more. Now, I'm going to try to explain it. Bear with me!

Two males, working together on a job. Each must find a way to prove their superiority over the other, so all day long they go back and forth with their stories of how great they are, or how much good they've done, just to find this point of superiority, to lord it over the other.

Two brothers, growing up abused in the same household, go out into the world, and in order to subvert their own feelings of insecurity, attempt to find spouses that they, too, can subvert, as their parents did to them. Abuse is a cycle, and must be consciously stopped, or it is continued into the next generation.

A grown woman, must move back in with her abusive parents, bringing along her husband, who is also abusive. The Power Struggle begins, between the father and the husband, to see who is superior. Father tries to pull more weight with daughter, to prove he has more control over her than her own husband. The husband pulls her one way, the father, another. Inbetween, is the abused mom.

Not meaning to be crude, but it applies to the point here, so I must say it. Men or boys arguing over how large their appendage is, and who's is the largest.

The boss at work, who insists upon making you be submissive to his will, i.e. drop everything and do this for me NOW! Probably a closet abuser, but that's beside the point. This even happens in the workplace.

Company keeps expanding, growing larger and larger. Maybe they sell household products, they open more locations, make even more money, attempt to use illegal workers so they can pay them less, attempt to screw suppliers, so they can make bigger profits, or they farm out the work to Indonesia, to save money. They perhaps discriminate against women in the workplace, paying them less than the men who are employed there, and they hire 80% female workers.

Gulf of Mexico, drilling for oil. Must go deeper, must erect bigger penises...oops! I mean oil drills! Dig deeper into Mother Earth. Plow into her, abuse her, rape her. Yes. That's the symbolism of oil wells.

Aspirin grows on trees, but we can't profit on it if it's free, so we must cut down the trees that grow it, and instead produce aspirin in a factory (that will pollute the air, water, and land), and fill it with chemicals, and sell it to the public to make a profit.

Ah, but you knew it was going to come back to the Gulf Oil Disaster, or to us abusing our natural resources, didn't you? I mean, you've read my blogs before! :)

EVERY one of these above "for instances" all fit into this syndrome. The Alpha Male Syndrome. Let me attempt to explain.

The power struggle between father and husband, is a classic example of one man trying to one up the next, to prove his superiority over the other, or others. It's his machismo that makes him want to do it. The co-workers, same story. The two brothers use theirs in the same way, as well. The two boys, determining whose is bigger, have begun their own journey into proving superiority.

Now let's move into the business world. With corporations, it's about the money, which, when you break it down, is actually about greed. I recall a quote from Donald Trump, back in the 80's when he was a multi-billionaire, "He who dies with the most toys, wins".

What is the purpose of accumulating wealth? To have more than the next person? To be the largest corporation in the world, and for the man behind the company, to feel as if he has the biggest appendage in the world? To lord it over the rest of the world? I know I'm making a big jump here, but I think that the base reason is all about the Alpha Male Syndrome, being the biggest, feeling superior, and subverting personal insecurity, with wealth, and/or power.

Why did the Gulf Oil Disaster happen? We don't need another country's oil, we'll go dig up our own! A battle for superiority. We don't want to give all of our money to another country for their oil, we'll keep the money by digging up our own oil... then we'll have more money than them!

My contention is that each and every one of us feels insecure, but some of us attempt to cure that by making others feel even more insecure. It's a constant battle, to see who is more superior. Thus, the Alpha Male Syndrome.

Try it. See how many situations you can apply this to, and let us know what you find out.

The cure: Believe in yourself, and do not depend on others to feed your insecurities. Feed them yourself, but not by feeding on others. We are, each of us, surrounded by the love of the Universe, at all times. This is all we need. Draw that into your life, and feed your soul with it, until you love yourself enough to believe in yourself. Then help others to do the same.

Be aware of this Syndrome in the world, and do your best not to feed the companies that practice it. Life is not about money, or greed, or power. It's about love.

I'm not sure I explained this coherently, or if I even made sense. My apologies, if I've confused. This may be a subject I need to come back to, when I can explain it better. As I said, I've only just become aware of it, and call me naive if you will, but now I see that many interactions are about a power struggle, and I find that very sad, and disturbing. Have we destroyed the natural resources of Mother Earth, all over a power struggle? To prove our superiority? Jeez, I really, really, hope not!

Peace and Love...

ps: We are all equal in the eyes of the Creator :)


CricketSong said...

I agree that it all comes down to people feeling insecure. I don't think many realize this however, they just need to know that they are better, smarter, healthier, wealthier and the list goes on and on.

I also agree that instead of harming others we should love ourselves because once we understand that we are worthy of the love of The Divine there will be no need to make others feel less so that we can feel more. Once we embrace that same love we will see that there is abundance in everything for all.

Bright blessings!

Leviathan said...

You made your point perfectly, and all of what you say is true. Now the next logical step: we must ask ourselves, why are men wired up this way? We men are all like this to one degree or another, just high-strung balls of testosterone...guilty as charged. But why? After all this is 2010 and men are not competing for food in the wild.

But the fact is, this is exactly why men evolved as we did. The man who was most competitive, compared with his male peers, gathered the most food for his family and thus his genes were more likely to be passed on (because his children survived). This also made him more desirable to women who saw he was a good provider, thus allowing him to spread his genes to them in exchange for food, shelter, security.

It seems out of place today doesn't it? I hope a woman doesn't judge me by the size of my paycheck! (But some would.)

I'm not saying it's good. You gave plenty of examples where this activity was detrimental to the earth and the man's family, and all of the examples were right-on. Especially the abuse which is abhorrent and behavior contrary to the well-being of humankind.

We are evolving, constantly. I take solace in the fact that things will improve over time.

Michelle said...

CricketSong, you got it!
Leviathan: Did I slant this towards men and not include women? It wasn't my intention! Women do it too!
And yeah, I can see that it comes from the cave man days, as you said, but it *shifted* into something else. I think it started back during WWII when the women went to work in the factories, while the men were at war. Men came back, and women didn't want to give up jobs, they enjoyed earning their own money, and this made men feel like they weren't providing for them, thus creating insecurity.
Now women have to work, two incomes are necessary in families. So why do men still feel insecure about it? And how has it shifted to include women?
Hmmmm... lots to think on!
Thank you both for the comments!
Love and Blessings...